Letting Go ...

Sometimes in life I get hung up on how I want things to work out - especially pertaining to deadlines. A classic example is wanting to get everything taken care of before going out of town for a vacation - clean the house, weed the lawn, catch up with friends, write a will, update the budget - you know, basically anything that's been on my to-do list for the last 12 months.

Now is a time when I need to let go of the way I wanted things to be in the final months of my pregnancy. I will (probably) not be:
- designing the perfect baby room
- composing long love letters to my daughter to give to her at key moments throughout her life
- touring the hospital
- spending my evenings contemplating the joys of pregnancy or discussing the future with Chris
- taking time off work to "nest"
- exercising more than the minimum
- keeping up with the yard at all

Okay, so not all of those things were goals to start with. :) But you get the picture. I will be:
- working
- sleeping
- taking a few nights off a week to rest & enjoy myself, be healthy, and be with Chris
- drinking a little bit of coffee

The impetus for all this, you ask? Well my committee meeting went pretty well. We decided to change my dissertation from 4 parts (with a couple parts being kind of hastily done), to 3 parts (ideally spending more time on those couple of parts). I'm pretty happy with this, I would much rather do quality work than rush and cram to get more done that's not as thorough. The good news is now I can somewhat realistically aim to finish writing my dissertation before the baby comes. That is also the bad news, and why I have to give up on the idea of taking it easy at work the last few months.

I do feel that it's a little ridiculous to even be considering this time line with my dissertation. I finished my masters in August 2008. Three years is really quick to finish a PhD in my department. I think it's crazy. I think four years might be nicer, but my adviser seems to be in a hurry to get his students done with whatever they're working on. On the bright side, I can stick around and work for him for at least a little while after I finish and earn almost twice what I do now. Even though I'm not usually motivated by money (hence my decision to be a doctor of atmospheric science rather than a doctor of medicine), in this case I guess I kind of am.

In other news, I had my 30 week appointment today. The baby is measuring at the just-right size, and I am healthily weighing 15 pounds more than I ever have before. It seems that she and I are both healthy and growing!

Finally, for your viewing pleasure, here is a picture from Chris' first (& very hilly) half marathon - which he completed in the magnificent time of 2:02!

Nap time!

Tomorrow I have a 'proposal review' meeting with my PhD committee. I'm supposed to tell them what I plan on having in my dissertation, and they're supposed to provide feedback and basically say whether it sounds like I'll be able to defend in the next 6 months or so. It's the last big hurdle before the official defense (oh yeah other than actually writing the dissertation!), at least as far as my committee goes. I've had some friends say it was really easy, and other friends who had a really hard time in theirs.

Maybe I should be more worried, but today I was so tired that I came home and took a 4 hour nap! So much for last-minute preparations. It was one of the few times over the last few months that I've given into the "I'm pregnant" feeling and gave myself a break. I might start being nicer to myself. I'm feeling a little burnt out from all the work, and I want to be home more often to do things like get the baby's room ready and spend time with Chris. I guess it will depend on how tomorrow goes. Right now even just working 8-5 M-F sounds like a nice break!

Sometimes it helps to think "What's the worst that can happen?" Realistically, the worst that can happen tomorrow is my committee will give me a really hard time, and then tell me they don't think I can finish any time soon. In which case ... I'd be pretty relieved! :) Haha. The best case (and an unlikely one) is I convince them I've done enough work already and can finish by July. In which case, I'll have to keep working really hard and maybe that won't be the best situation, at least for the next 2 months. So either way, I'll be happy, just for different reasons. That's why I'm not really nervous. I've done what I can up to this point, no use worrying too much about it. At least I know I'll be well-rested! :)

Growing baby, growing belly

Well, it's been a while again! Between fixing up our kitchen, trying to make progress on my dissertation, and getting ready for the baby we have been very busy! But I thought it was worth posting a few updates. I'm now at 29 weeks - in the third trimester! I can't believe I am so far along now. Our baby will be here in less than three months - crazy! She is moving around a lot. One of my coworkers commented that I had been making a lot of funny faces lately and I said it was because I'm constantly being kicked from the inside. :) It can be distracting while I try to work but I really love feeling her move. Now that she moves around so much, Chris and I are really looking forward to meeting her and seeing what she looks like when she does all this squirming. Everything is progressing well with the pregnancy. At the doctor appointments, they measure my uterus (from the outside!) to see if she is on track with her growth. At my 24 week appointment, I was 1 inch too small, but last week at 28 weeks I was 1 inch too big! So hopefully that means she is growing well :)

Anyway, here are some pictures from the last few weeks ...

After spending several weekends in a row doing work in the kitchen, we enjoyed a nice hike on a trail near our house. We're lucky to live so close to some really nice trails.

Chris was impressed how the curves of the road below matched my belly. This was at 25 weeks.Last weekend we took a mini-vacation to Colorado National Monument, on the west side of the state. It was very scenic and we went on a few really nice hikes. Camping with a belly was challenging at times, but well worth the effort to spend some time outside and with Chris. Now can you tell I'm getting bigger?? :) This is about 28 weeks

Here I am without the jacket but still looking large and in charge.

We were expecting warm temperatures, but it was actually really windy and cold, and snowed on us a couple of times. The last night we were there, it was kind of warm enough to sit on the rocks near our campsite and enjoy the views. We had a great view!

On the way back to Ft. Collins we stopped in Glenwood Canyon and hiked to Hanging Lake. It was gorgeous! It doesn't look like anything you would expect to see in Colorado - with blue-green water and moss-draped waterfalls.


The hike to the lake was VERY steep and snowy at the top. I was nervous about slipping in the snow, so I sat on Chris' raincoat and slid down the trail. It was quite the sight, I'm sure, but really fun. I think I've discovered a new way to "hike" :)